What first attracted you to Millionaire Paul Daniels?

A Classic line from the Mrs Merton comedy chat show – where Caroline Ahern poses as elderly chat show host interviewing suspecting B listed celebrities. So Debbie McGee was caught in her web unable to escape from the presupposition that is loaded to the hilt.

Similar to the question; When did you stop beating your wife? or Would you prefer to go out with me to the cinema or for a meal? Some of these are hardly subtle but in a sequence and with a number of pre-suppositions building your choices can start to become limited.

How do you see yourself contributing to this valuable project? I know you have played an important part before.

NLP Values and Valuing using NLP

NLP is about modelling behaviour.
Modelling conscious and modelling unconscious behaviour.
Behaviour is dependent on motivation.
Motivation is highly influenced by a person’s values.

In modelling a person’s behaviour we need to elicit their values.
If we change our values we change our motivation (towards and away from)
If we change our motivation we change our behaviour.

Values are supported by our experience base usually through imprint experiences or significant emotional events.

Values are not single dimensional entities but work within a dynamic depending on the context and personal outcome. So we can also change the way we develop our context or the outcomes we persue consciously or unconsciously through modelling.

So whats important in doing this? Why are you doing this?
Why is this person doing this? We can observe, question or even test through modelling?

What would stop or change the outcome?

Some NLP trainers recommend you only need to make a decision to change your values. Thats not really the case if it was we could change our values to fit the situation, we obviously do not do that. So if we wanted to increase the value of compassion from self centred bigotry that would be difficult just on the basis of a decision.

The reasons and consequences should be modelled out on the basis of each value.

NLP Can you model this? NLP Training?

A question for all NLP trainers – can you teach modelling?
Can you generate new NLP models? Can you give me an education in Modelling Behaviour through NLP?

Go on Youtube and contrast the answers of Richard Bandler and John Grinder ” What is NLP?” What a difference. Richard is a natural modeller, someone who can recover vital information quickly from a modelling subject.

You will notice John Grinder makes the clear distinction between Modelling and applications of modelling. So for instance theres modelling the Meta model and theres using the meta model. Two very different skills.

So if your thinking of going on a Master Practitioner Training – test the trainer out.

Can you show me a model you have created? Then test the model out – see how well it works.

Internalisation of……

The internalisation of experience is a key question in NLP and DBM

Internalisation of Pain
Internalisation of Success
Internalisation of Trauma
Internalisation of Significant events
Internalisation of Injury
Internalisation Spiritually

The subjectification of experience is a whole book in itself. NLP makes some attempt to model this through the use of submodalities and internal strategies. THis only covers a part of the process and does not explain the reasons as to why some humans internalise and others keep the experience objective (outside of themselves).

The experience can be something as simple as a theme tune or a personal calendar. To others it can be a personal trauma or significant event of meaning. The little girl who is congratulated by a teacher in such a way she can go searching for similar experiences for the rest of her life.

A rape victim can feel sullied by an experience and unable to connect again intimately with a lover.

We spend a great deal of lives as learners and students trying to internalise certain key leanings, even on occasions getting assistance from teachers (useful and less so ) to internalise various pieces of learning. Then there is a difference between basic information and pure experience.

So how do we internalise more usefully rather than take on the shit and discard the great stuff?

One key aspect is awareness and being sensitive to the internal impact of experience. How does it manifect, how often, how imposing, how useful, how much learning have I taken from this?

Is the internal representation a balanced example of the experience.
Positive, Negative, Neutral, Neutral.

What is the predominant aspect of the experience itself and the structure of that experience? It it a replay, a characature, a cartoon, a photo, continuous play etc.

What do you notice in terms of your feelings and evaluation of the experience?

Inside Non Verbal Signals

He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore. – Sigmund Freud

We display the truth about ourselves in silence, we communicate with the world in just being. Freud was right in what he said but the distortion in his words speaks volumes. Milton Erickson was a master in reading people from the way they presented before any verbal exchange.

In NLP congruence is a term to describe behaviour when all systems are aligned in terms of mind,body and behaviours. Internally and externally the message transmitted is consistent. You cannot describe yourself as confident with a shaky voice and be congruent.

Watch and listen carefully for inconsistencies and the degree of consistency in all behaviours.

Here are some things to listen for:-

A change in volume
Tone
Tempo
Emphasis
Rhythm
Length of words
Sighs
Groans
Ummms
Speed
Smoothness

There is background, foreground and far background information available for self and other. What does it say about them?

Content What they say
Processing How they say it
Patterns Why they say it

Im dreaming of a Binge Christmas!

Judging by talking to various people in the preparation for Xmas it is really easy to overeat, overbuy and overdo it generally. So what might help in terms of a strategy for control the binge in Christmas spending. The pressure and contagion that surrounds this period is really easy to get caught up in.

So using a DBM model (Developmental Behaviourial Modelling- a mouthful I know) here is a simple process to curb the festive indulgence:-

1. Do I like …………………?
2. Do I want………………..?
3. Do I need ……………..?
4. Do I really need ………?
5. How do you know you really need it?

And

1. Do they like …………………?
2. Do they want………………..?
3. Do they need ……………..?
4. Do they really need ………?
5. How do you know they really need it?

The sequence is important, the reverse pattern is for using in a sales pitch to chain the customer from a need to a like. Try it see how much you save !

In Reality, This is Real – now lets Change it!

In working with clients and seeing people with a variety of issues, one thing that has changed in recent years is treating the client’s presenting problem as real. This was pioneered in the 70s by Virginia Satir (Family Therapist) then by Richard Bandler (NLP originator). They treated the literal meaning of what was said by the client as a true statement of affairs. Of course going back before then and even now with some of the current medical thinking, “the pull yourself together school of thinking” does not get anywhere, its destructive and simply invalidates the poor sufferer.

So in using energy therapies we can listen and pay attention to our clients really carefully. We treat the issue/problem as real as a broken leg or ruptured Achilles.
In presenting as a therapist we can set ourselves up usefully as to how we interact with the client. Right from the off our attention should be on them, every piece of information contains the clues not just what the problem is but how it might have been formed. For example, if someone appears clumsy in coming into the clinic, they may not have a strong association with own physicality, their body and the connection to self. How do they maintain that level of separation?

I was working with an athlete who had seen her times drop over recent months.
When we traced the issue we noticed he legs literally felt heavier even though she had not put weight on. Her voice even went heavier as she explained the problem as she slumped back. So we decided to work on the heaviness. We let the heaviness flow out through her feet which interestingly improved her balance and priopreception. We then added lightness to her legs by a variety of techniques including Emotrance. I guess many solutions from a sports psychologist would have involved training regimes, resting, nutrition, goal setting, visualising etc.

So here are types of description of what makes issues real for each client:-

• Physically (e.g. my back hurts)
• Symptomatically (e.g. sore shins)
• Metaphorically “This feels like a nail sticking in my knee”
• Phantom pain (pain in a removed leg)
• Emotionally (Energetically) “ I am feeling angry that I have not got a job”
• Psychologically (Beliefs, values, convictions) “ People just seem to walk all over me”
• Identity (What is says or means about them) “! am a stupid idiot”
• It is also possible that the issue can be multi-faceted; we can have an emotional, metaphorical, identity presenting problem. “I am pig sick of being stuck in this house with my daughter”

It’s useful to know what really the client is presenting. What is the level of the issue?
An identity related issue is very different to a physical one.

Pay attention to the language, gestures, expressions, breathing of course, movements, physical disposition, facial muscle tonus, voice tone and tempo in explaining the problem. If you want an example of a sharp change look at Tony Blair at the press conference following the death of scientist David Kelly, he looks a different person, even if you just look into the eyes. Instead of the Tesco Slogan “Every little helps”, “Every piece of information helps”.

When we sometimes see a euphoric response post Emotrance session, it’s clear what’s happened. So we can calibrate the clients state incoming and then calibrate outgoing, it’s a measure of our work! The athlete can measure their times in racing, we can measure a difference post Emotrance!

Modelling Richard Bandler 2

So what else was present in Richards modelling on that day

1) He paid close attention (acuity) towards the gestures of the subject.Evidenced in the feedback and reference to it.

2) All information provided was useful in terms of modelling and noticing patterns, not just the immediate skill set that is being modelled.

3) Richard was switched on to patterns in terms of the structure oh how Bobby Davro presented about what he really wanted to do with his life.

4) Richard switched into the level of congruence of the subject, notice for meaning and what matters. Richard makes connections between the language used and physiology.

5) Richard not caught up in personal content of Bobby but more around the structure and patterns

6) Fast distillation of modelling content. Rapid output from Richard with the minimum amount of detail to support but valid evidence nonetheless.

7) Richard working within the modelled subject and I would hypothesize alongside the subject

Modelling Richard Bandler

About 9 years ago on a NLP modelling course near Tottenham Court Road in London. Richard Bandler, Paul Mckenna et all presented a NLP course on modelling. A lot of it was standard NLP however at one stage there was some modelling of Bobby Davro the comedian. McKenna and Breen were supposedly doing the official modelling and nothing remarkable was detailled by them.

However the next day Richard Bandler came on stage and gave a full download of what he had noticed. I wont give all the details here but one key point was that Richard had subjectively taken the position of Davro the previous evening. Davro had talked about the audiences perspective, Richard had followed him and paced each move. He had tested what was true for him in detail. It is technique for shortcutting to quick information about a subject. Matching position and physiology.

Real Life NLP

One of the issues with NLP is dealing with Real Life and the day to day issues including those in the public eye. Whilst politics is generally a personal thing, the dynamics and workings of politicians is useful territory to model. When you can watch an interview thats not rehearsed or with patsy questions then theres the feedback that can be used to develop and test your NLP skills.

For instance languaging, sensory acuity, calibration, personal strategies etc. So take Tony Blair being interviewed by Fern Britton today, not Paxman but then again he may be more easily caught offguard with a softer interviewing approach.

Here is an example of man who has shifted his ground and continues to shift to justify his position. He disassociates from the decision he took, “when you” rather than “when I”.

He is haunted by his decisions and seems he is using religion as a comfort and as a means to find some personal succour. He is sustained by his faith but then decides his faith will not help with the day to day decisions. He talks about frailty,humanity,feebleness as means of gaining strength. This presupposes he is searching for strength but is likely to feel weakened by going to war on the sketchiest of justifications.

Catholicism has become his natural home – he goes to access kinaesthetically – to deal with his feelings. An inference maybe that his faith as a structure was the basis of going into the Iraq War rather than reasoned judgement. He now promotes faith through his foundation, something he did whilst he was in power. You can argue misused power. He argues that society should be directed by its spiritual core?

God is also masculine in his model. Just watch Tony as he is questioned about the death of David Kelly -stunned and shocked!