Archive for Grimshaw

What first attracted you to Millionaire Paul Daniels?

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, NLP Hypnosis, NLP Language, NLP Training with tags , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2010 by nlpwithed

A Classic line from the Mrs Merton comedy chat show – where Caroline Ahern poses as elderly chat show host interviewing suspecting B listed celebrities. So Debbie McGee was caught in her web unable to escape from the presupposition that is loaded to the hilt.

Similar to the question; When did you stop beating your wife? or Would you prefer to go out with me to the cinema or for a meal? Some of these are hardly subtle but in a sequence and with a number of pre-suppositions building your choices can start to become limited.

How do you see yourself contributing to this valuable project? I know you have played an important part before.

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In Reality, This is Real – now lets Change it!

Posted in 1, NLP Language, NLP Patterns & Techniques with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2009 by nlpwithed

In working with clients and seeing people with a variety of issues, one thing that has changed in recent years is treating the client’s presenting problem as real. This was pioneered in the 70s by Virginia Satir (Family Therapist) then by Richard Bandler (NLP originator). They treated the literal meaning of what was said by the client as a true statement of affairs. Of course going back before then and even now with some of the current medical thinking, “the pull yourself together school of thinking” does not get anywhere, its destructive and simply invalidates the poor sufferer.

So in using energy therapies we can listen and pay attention to our clients really carefully. We treat the issue/problem as real as a broken leg or ruptured Achilles.
In presenting as a therapist we can set ourselves up usefully as to how we interact with the client. Right from the off our attention should be on them, every piece of information contains the clues not just what the problem is but how it might have been formed. For example, if someone appears clumsy in coming into the clinic, they may not have a strong association with own physicality, their body and the connection to self. How do they maintain that level of separation?

I was working with an athlete who had seen her times drop over recent months.
When we traced the issue we noticed he legs literally felt heavier even though she had not put weight on. Her voice even went heavier as she explained the problem as she slumped back. So we decided to work on the heaviness. We let the heaviness flow out through her feet which interestingly improved her balance and priopreception. We then added lightness to her legs by a variety of techniques including Emotrance. I guess many solutions from a sports psychologist would have involved training regimes, resting, nutrition, goal setting, visualising etc.

So here are types of description of what makes issues real for each client:-

• Physically (e.g. my back hurts)
• Symptomatically (e.g. sore shins)
• Metaphorically “This feels like a nail sticking in my knee”
• Phantom pain (pain in a removed leg)
• Emotionally (Energetically) “ I am feeling angry that I have not got a job”
• Psychologically (Beliefs, values, convictions) “ People just seem to walk all over me”
• Identity (What is says or means about them) “! am a stupid idiot”
• It is also possible that the issue can be multi-faceted; we can have an emotional, metaphorical, identity presenting problem. “I am pig sick of being stuck in this house with my daughter”

It’s useful to know what really the client is presenting. What is the level of the issue?
An identity related issue is very different to a physical one.

Pay attention to the language, gestures, expressions, breathing of course, movements, physical disposition, facial muscle tonus, voice tone and tempo in explaining the problem. If you want an example of a sharp change look at Tony Blair at the press conference following the death of scientist David Kelly, he looks a different person, even if you just look into the eyes. Instead of the Tesco Slogan “Every little helps”, “Every piece of information helps”.

When we sometimes see a euphoric response post Emotrance session, it’s clear what’s happened. So we can calibrate the clients state incoming and then calibrate outgoing, it’s a measure of our work! The athlete can measure their times in racing, we can measure a difference post Emotrance!

Real Life NLP

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, Modelling Modelling, nlp, NLP Language, NLP Modelling, NLP News, NLP Patterns & Techniques, NLP Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2009 by nlpwithed

One of the issues with NLP is dealing with Real Life and the day to day issues including those in the public eye. Whilst politics is generally a personal thing, the dynamics and workings of politicians is useful territory to model. When you can watch an interview thats not rehearsed or with patsy questions then theres the feedback that can be used to develop and test your NLP skills.

For instance languaging, sensory acuity, calibration, personal strategies etc. So take Tony Blair being interviewed by Fern Britton today, not Paxman but then again he may be more easily caught offguard with a softer interviewing approach.

Here is an example of man who has shifted his ground and continues to shift to justify his position. He disassociates from the decision he took, “when you” rather than “when I”.

He is haunted by his decisions and seems he is using religion as a comfort and as a means to find some personal succour. He is sustained by his faith but then decides his faith will not help with the day to day decisions. He talks about frailty,humanity,feebleness as means of gaining strength. This presupposes he is searching for strength but is likely to feel weakened by going to war on the sketchiest of justifications.

Catholicism has become his natural home – he goes to access kinaesthetically – to deal with his feelings. An inference maybe that his faith as a structure was the basis of going into the Iraq War rather than reasoned judgement. He now promotes faith through his foundation, something he did whilst he was in power. You can argue misused power. He argues that society should be directed by its spiritual core?

God is also masculine in his model. Just watch Tony as he is questioned about the death of David Kelly -stunned and shocked!

In Your Face NLP VS Natural NLP

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, NLP Talk, NLP Training with tags , , , , , , on February 23, 2009 by nlpwithed

The other day and my friend asked me a question about NLP. He was concerned that a lot of practitioners or people who had trained at the practitioner training were very crude in their application of the material.

He said he had experience of the meta monsters and an “in your face” style of NLP people wanting to show off just how much they knew. He said this had put him off attending a training and did I know whether it was possible to train and practice NLP without a sense of arrogance.

I thought about this and wondered why it was so common for the feedback from non-NLPrs to have this experience.

I think there are a number of reasons; firstly some of the patterns are made explicit by the trainer out during the training, by utilising volume and inflection and also operating with an attitude. Secondly a good deal of NLP training uses power metaphors, these are sometimes translated as power over others rather than power over oneself. Thirdly some of the training is contextualised within the training room itself rather than some other natural applications beyond the training itself.

Some NLP students access state changes during the training that connect to the other material learned on the course.

I would contrast to that of the two cells of training is in-your-face NLP and naturalistic NLP.

In-your-face NLP

Natural NLP

Challenging style Pacing the other persons model of the world
Going for the position of domination and impact Going for affiliation and effectiveness
Demonstrates information rather than knowledge Deeper understanding
Dictating Communication
Crude Complexity applied simply
Sorting by self rather than the other person Neutral sorting preferences
Power over others Power through oneself
Ill fitting with the environment Best fit NLP tools to the circumstances
Fragmented knowledge Integrated with one’s own naturalistic patterns
   

The question therefore arises how can a training be designed so it is more likely to produce and naturalistic style of NLP rather than that of it being in-your-face.

Firstly there is no substitute for a thorough knowledge of the material and extensive practice. Recently there has been a fashion to reduce the number of training hours and the training requirements which means although NLP has become mainstream, the overall standard has fallen, due to numbers and lack of “flying time” .

Another key requirement would be to integrate any of the NLP patterns into the practitioner’s everyday environment.

The use of metaphors adopted by the training organisations likely to attract or repel certain people, the power metaphor certainly does not help. It seems strange that a field that has been developed to improve individual’s communication skills sometimes produces the opposite and simply delivers someone even more irritating than they were before.

One area of NLP that should enhance the communication between practitioner and client, or practitioner and public is the rapport model. Some trainers seem to teach this mechanistically rather than starting with the principles that underpin it. So if the practitioner is barking repeatedly at someone else is hardly surprising they failed to communicate unless they are dealing with an angry German Shepherd, and even then.

So we should have some fun when we are training but not just at other’s expense.

Curiosity and experimentation are key aspects to the attitude that goes with the good practitioner.

As Richard Bandler always says,” you go first” which means the practitioner applies the material to himself.