Inside Non Verbal Signals

He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore. – Sigmund Freud

We display the truth about ourselves in silence, we communicate with the world in just being. Freud was right in what he said but the distortion in his words speaks volumes. Milton Erickson was a master in reading people from the way they presented before any verbal exchange.

In NLP congruence is a term to describe behaviour when all systems are aligned in terms of mind,body and behaviours. Internally and externally the message transmitted is consistent. You cannot describe yourself as confident with a shaky voice and be congruent.

Watch and listen carefully for inconsistencies and the degree of consistency in all behaviours.

Here are some things to listen for:-

A change in volume
Tone
Tempo
Emphasis
Rhythm
Length of words
Sighs
Groans
Ummms
Speed
Smoothness

There is background, foreground and far background information available for self and other. What does it say about them?

Content What they say
Processing How they say it
Patterns Why they say it

Modelling Richard Bandler

About 9 years ago on a NLP modelling course near Tottenham Court Road in London. Richard Bandler, Paul Mckenna et all presented a NLP course on modelling. A lot of it was standard NLP however at one stage there was some modelling of Bobby Davro the comedian. McKenna and Breen were supposedly doing the official modelling and nothing remarkable was detailled by them.

However the next day Richard Bandler came on stage and gave a full download of what he had noticed. I wont give all the details here but one key point was that Richard had subjectively taken the position of Davro the previous evening. Davro had talked about the audiences perspective, Richard had followed him and paced each move. He had tested what was true for him in detail. It is technique for shortcutting to quick information about a subject. Matching position and physiology.