Archive for Ed Grimshaw

Inside Non Verbal Signals

Posted in nlp, NLP Modeling, NLP Patterns & Techniques, NLP Talk with tags , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2009 by nlpwithed

He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore. – Sigmund Freud

We display the truth about ourselves in silence, we communicate with the world in just being. Freud was right in what he said but the distortion in his words speaks volumes. Milton Erickson was a master in reading people from the way they presented before any verbal exchange.

In NLP congruence is a term to describe behaviour when all systems are aligned in terms of mind,body and behaviours. Internally and externally the message transmitted is consistent. You cannot describe yourself as confident with a shaky voice and be congruent.

Watch and listen carefully for inconsistencies and the degree of consistency in all behaviours.

Here are some things to listen for:-

A change in volume
Length of words

There is background, foreground and far background information available for self and other. What does it say about them?

Content What they say
Processing How they say it
Patterns Why they say it

Im dreaming of a Binge Christmas!

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, NLP Making Money, NLP Modelling, NLP Patterns & Techniques with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2009 by nlpwithed

Judging by talking to various people in the preparation for Xmas it is really easy to overeat, overbuy and overdo it generally. So what might help in terms of a strategy for control the binge in Christmas spending. The pressure and contagion that surrounds this period is really easy to get caught up in.

So using a DBM model (Developmental Behaviourial Modelling- a mouthful I know) here is a simple process to curb the festive indulgence:-

1. Do I like …………………?
2. Do I want………………..?
3. Do I need ……………..?
4. Do I really need ………?
5. How do you know you really need it?


1. Do they like …………………?
2. Do they want………………..?
3. Do they need ……………..?
4. Do they really need ………?
5. How do you know they really need it?

The sequence is important, the reverse pattern is for using in a sales pitch to chain the customer from a need to a like. Try it see how much you save !

In Reality, This is Real – now lets Change it!

Posted in 1, NLP Language, NLP Patterns & Techniques with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2009 by nlpwithed

In working with clients and seeing people with a variety of issues, one thing that has changed in recent years is treating the client’s presenting problem as real. This was pioneered in the 70s by Virginia Satir (Family Therapist) then by Richard Bandler (NLP originator). They treated the literal meaning of what was said by the client as a true statement of affairs. Of course going back before then and even now with some of the current medical thinking, “the pull yourself together school of thinking” does not get anywhere, its destructive and simply invalidates the poor sufferer.

So in using energy therapies we can listen and pay attention to our clients really carefully. We treat the issue/problem as real as a broken leg or ruptured Achilles.
In presenting as a therapist we can set ourselves up usefully as to how we interact with the client. Right from the off our attention should be on them, every piece of information contains the clues not just what the problem is but how it might have been formed. For example, if someone appears clumsy in coming into the clinic, they may not have a strong association with own physicality, their body and the connection to self. How do they maintain that level of separation?

I was working with an athlete who had seen her times drop over recent months.
When we traced the issue we noticed he legs literally felt heavier even though she had not put weight on. Her voice even went heavier as she explained the problem as she slumped back. So we decided to work on the heaviness. We let the heaviness flow out through her feet which interestingly improved her balance and priopreception. We then added lightness to her legs by a variety of techniques including Emotrance. I guess many solutions from a sports psychologist would have involved training regimes, resting, nutrition, goal setting, visualising etc.

So here are types of description of what makes issues real for each client:-

• Physically (e.g. my back hurts)
• Symptomatically (e.g. sore shins)
• Metaphorically “This feels like a nail sticking in my knee”
• Phantom pain (pain in a removed leg)
• Emotionally (Energetically) “ I am feeling angry that I have not got a job”
• Psychologically (Beliefs, values, convictions) “ People just seem to walk all over me”
• Identity (What is says or means about them) “! am a stupid idiot”
• It is also possible that the issue can be multi-faceted; we can have an emotional, metaphorical, identity presenting problem. “I am pig sick of being stuck in this house with my daughter”

It’s useful to know what really the client is presenting. What is the level of the issue?
An identity related issue is very different to a physical one.

Pay attention to the language, gestures, expressions, breathing of course, movements, physical disposition, facial muscle tonus, voice tone and tempo in explaining the problem. If you want an example of a sharp change look at Tony Blair at the press conference following the death of scientist David Kelly, he looks a different person, even if you just look into the eyes. Instead of the Tesco Slogan “Every little helps”, “Every piece of information helps”.

When we sometimes see a euphoric response post Emotrance session, it’s clear what’s happened. So we can calibrate the clients state incoming and then calibrate outgoing, it’s a measure of our work! The athlete can measure their times in racing, we can measure a difference post Emotrance!

Modelling Richard Bandler 2

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, Hypnosis, Modelling Modelling, NLP Modeling, NLP Modelling, Richard Bandler with tags , , , , , on December 14, 2009 by nlpwithed

So what else was present in Richards modelling on that day

1) He paid close attention (acuity) towards the gestures of the subject.Evidenced in the feedback and reference to it.

2) All information provided was useful in terms of modelling and noticing patterns, not just the immediate skill set that is being modelled.

3) Richard was switched on to patterns in terms of the structure oh how Bobby Davro presented about what he really wanted to do with his life.

4) Richard switched into the level of congruence of the subject, notice for meaning and what matters. Richard makes connections between the language used and physiology.

5) Richard not caught up in personal content of Bobby but more around the structure and patterns

6) Fast distillation of modelling content. Rapid output from Richard with the minimum amount of detail to support but valid evidence nonetheless.

7) Richard working within the modelled subject and I would hypothesize alongside the subject

Modelling Richard Bandler

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, Modelling Modelling, nlp, NLP News, NLP Stories, NLP Training with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2009 by nlpwithed

About 9 years ago on a NLP modelling course near Tottenham Court Road in London. Richard Bandler, Paul Mckenna et all presented a NLP course on modelling. A lot of it was standard NLP however at one stage there was some modelling of Bobby Davro the comedian. McKenna and Breen were supposedly doing the official modelling and nothing remarkable was detailled by them.

However the next day Richard Bandler came on stage and gave a full download of what he had noticed. I wont give all the details here but one key point was that Richard had subjectively taken the position of Davro the previous evening. Davro had talked about the audiences perspective, Richard had followed him and paced each move. He had tested what was true for him in detail. It is technique for shortcutting to quick information about a subject. Matching position and physiology.