Archive for the NLP Language Category

What first attracted you to Millionaire Paul Daniels?

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, NLP Hypnosis, NLP Language, NLP Training with tags , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2010 by nlpwithed

A Classic line from the Mrs Merton comedy chat show – where Caroline Ahern poses as elderly chat show host interviewing suspecting B listed celebrities. So Debbie McGee was caught in her web unable to escape from the presupposition that is loaded to the hilt.

Similar to the question; When did you stop beating your wife? or Would you prefer to go out with me to the cinema or for a meal? Some of these are hardly subtle but in a sequence and with a number of pre-suppositions building your choices can start to become limited.

How do you see yourself contributing to this valuable project? I know you have played an important part before.

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NLP Values and Valuing using NLP

Posted in 1, formal modelling, Modelling Modelling, natural modellin, natural modelling, NLP Language, NLP Modeling, NLP Modelling, NLP Patterns & Techniques, NLP Training with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2009 by nlpwithed

NLP is about modelling behaviour.
Modelling conscious and modelling unconscious behaviour.
Behaviour is dependent on motivation.
Motivation is highly influenced by a person’s values.

In modelling a person’s behaviour we need to elicit their values.
If we change our values we change our motivation (towards and away from)
If we change our motivation we change our behaviour.

Values are supported by our experience base usually through imprint experiences or significant emotional events.

Values are not single dimensional entities but work within a dynamic depending on the context and personal outcome. So we can also change the way we develop our context or the outcomes we persue consciously or unconsciously through modelling.

So whats important in doing this? Why are you doing this?
Why is this person doing this? We can observe, question or even test through modelling?

What would stop or change the outcome?

Some NLP trainers recommend you only need to make a decision to change your values. Thats not really the case if it was we could change our values to fit the situation, we obviously do not do that. So if we wanted to increase the value of compassion from self centred bigotry that would be difficult just on the basis of a decision.

The reasons and consequences should be modelled out on the basis of each value.

In Reality, This is Real – now lets Change it!

Posted in 1, NLP Language, NLP Patterns & Techniques with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2009 by nlpwithed

In working with clients and seeing people with a variety of issues, one thing that has changed in recent years is treating the client’s presenting problem as real. This was pioneered in the 70s by Virginia Satir (Family Therapist) then by Richard Bandler (NLP originator). They treated the literal meaning of what was said by the client as a true statement of affairs. Of course going back before then and even now with some of the current medical thinking, “the pull yourself together school of thinking” does not get anywhere, its destructive and simply invalidates the poor sufferer.

So in using energy therapies we can listen and pay attention to our clients really carefully. We treat the issue/problem as real as a broken leg or ruptured Achilles.
In presenting as a therapist we can set ourselves up usefully as to how we interact with the client. Right from the off our attention should be on them, every piece of information contains the clues not just what the problem is but how it might have been formed. For example, if someone appears clumsy in coming into the clinic, they may not have a strong association with own physicality, their body and the connection to self. How do they maintain that level of separation?

I was working with an athlete who had seen her times drop over recent months.
When we traced the issue we noticed he legs literally felt heavier even though she had not put weight on. Her voice even went heavier as she explained the problem as she slumped back. So we decided to work on the heaviness. We let the heaviness flow out through her feet which interestingly improved her balance and priopreception. We then added lightness to her legs by a variety of techniques including Emotrance. I guess many solutions from a sports psychologist would have involved training regimes, resting, nutrition, goal setting, visualising etc.

So here are types of description of what makes issues real for each client:-

• Physically (e.g. my back hurts)
• Symptomatically (e.g. sore shins)
• Metaphorically “This feels like a nail sticking in my knee”
• Phantom pain (pain in a removed leg)
• Emotionally (Energetically) “ I am feeling angry that I have not got a job”
• Psychologically (Beliefs, values, convictions) “ People just seem to walk all over me”
• Identity (What is says or means about them) “! am a stupid idiot”
• It is also possible that the issue can be multi-faceted; we can have an emotional, metaphorical, identity presenting problem. “I am pig sick of being stuck in this house with my daughter”

It’s useful to know what really the client is presenting. What is the level of the issue?
An identity related issue is very different to a physical one.

Pay attention to the language, gestures, expressions, breathing of course, movements, physical disposition, facial muscle tonus, voice tone and tempo in explaining the problem. If you want an example of a sharp change look at Tony Blair at the press conference following the death of scientist David Kelly, he looks a different person, even if you just look into the eyes. Instead of the Tesco Slogan “Every little helps”, “Every piece of information helps”.

When we sometimes see a euphoric response post Emotrance session, it’s clear what’s happened. So we can calibrate the clients state incoming and then calibrate outgoing, it’s a measure of our work! The athlete can measure their times in racing, we can measure a difference post Emotrance!

Real Life NLP

Posted in Ed Grimshaw, Modelling Modelling, nlp, NLP Language, NLP Modelling, NLP News, NLP Patterns & Techniques, NLP Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2009 by nlpwithed

One of the issues with NLP is dealing with Real Life and the day to day issues including those in the public eye. Whilst politics is generally a personal thing, the dynamics and workings of politicians is useful territory to model. When you can watch an interview thats not rehearsed or with patsy questions then theres the feedback that can be used to develop and test your NLP skills.

For instance languaging, sensory acuity, calibration, personal strategies etc. So take Tony Blair being interviewed by Fern Britton today, not Paxman but then again he may be more easily caught offguard with a softer interviewing approach.

Here is an example of man who has shifted his ground and continues to shift to justify his position. He disassociates from the decision he took, “when you” rather than “when I”.

He is haunted by his decisions and seems he is using religion as a comfort and as a means to find some personal succour. He is sustained by his faith but then decides his faith will not help with the day to day decisions. He talks about frailty,humanity,feebleness as means of gaining strength. This presupposes he is searching for strength but is likely to feel weakened by going to war on the sketchiest of justifications.

Catholicism has become his natural home – he goes to access kinaesthetically – to deal with his feelings. An inference maybe that his faith as a structure was the basis of going into the Iraq War rather than reasoned judgement. He now promotes faith through his foundation, something he did whilst he was in power. You can argue misused power. He argues that society should be directed by its spiritual core?

God is also masculine in his model. Just watch Tony as he is questioned about the death of David Kelly -stunned and shocked!

Another NLP Linguistic Change

Posted in NLP Language, NLP News, NLP Talk, NLP Training with tags , , on February 26, 2009 by nlpwithed

If someone keeps re-running an unhelpful memory. It is possible to interupt and scramble it. Stop them mid sentence – pattern interrupt, replay back and switch between different subjects, so say they are talking about splitting up with someone, fractionate between that and something pleasant or swish into something neutral and repeat. Or another technique is to change the linguistic sequence BUT is a powerful word “you lost your shirt BUT you live to fight another day”. The roof blew off AND now you can think about your next steps to move on….

Modelling Brass Balls

Posted in NLP Language, NLP Modelling, NLP News, NLP Talk with tags , , , , , , , on February 26, 2009 by nlpwithed

If Sir Freddie Goodwin appears on TV in the near future, watch him. He is the guy that has lost billions of pounds, whilst at the helm of the Royal Bank of Scotland. He has raped, the bank in salary, bonus and benefits, and then on top of that he has taken a top hat pension of £650,000 a year at age 50. He is Satan in a suit.

I shall be watching and waiting to model his brass balls, how does someone who has failed so miserably still hold their hand out for even more cash. Watch him carefully, I reckon we can learn a fair bit.

NLP and Political Correctness

Posted in NLP Hypnosis, NLP Language, NLP News, NLP Patterns & Techniques with tags , , , , , , , on February 25, 2009 by nlpwithed

I’ve just listened to debate this morning on political correctness, with Nicky Campbell. Hazel Blears, the Labour MP from Manchester, is giving a speech this evening 25th February. Personally, I cannot stand the woman, but maybe I’m not politically correct.

Just as a sub note it was interesting listening to the tone of voice and her diction compared to her normal output. Had she changed it because of the content of what she was delivering or because she was being challenged by Nicky as a person who has created a climate of political correctness.

Anyway, from my perspective, political correctness comes about because some people are too easily offended. They do not have the resources to deal with the flak coming their way. If every time we spoke, wrote or communicated and offended someone, life would be an extremely dull place. Most jokes would go out of the window.

So what NLP techniques would be useful in providing the resources for people to be more resilient. Some people are offended because their religion gets mocked, if they are so sure in themselves that they are right, why worry what anyone else thinks.

People sometimes feel they must defend the values that they stand for. Someone is attacking me or my values. It makes me feel bad.

If you literally take the emotion out of the situation and you can do this through a submodality shift or through taking a completely different perceptual position from the argument or discussion. For instance, just like you’re watching tennis match. if you concentrate on the structure rather than the content of the language then it becomes a whole different ballgame